Have you been crucified today?

  New Chapter,  I have not written in while because my oldest daughter finds it pertinent to print off and record all conversations with me.  Yep right there on her laptop are the conversations.  Funny how we are to stupid to know. 
Anyway,  I think back to the day's before my daughter was killed.  She was the best person. She had problems as we all do.  But she did not try to hide it.  She let everyone know. She even begged for help to many and was turned down by her own.  And if she felt half the pain i feel at the hands of her sister, then she was right to kill her self. Not looking for pity, just a fact. 
I today have been shown another side of my oldest child.  It is like she is possessed.  Pure Evil exudes from her.
She has again denied me the right to see my grandchildren.  Not only her children but, Crystals also.  She went as far as to say if we saw them on the street she would not let us talk to them.  And that under Arkansas law,  We have no rights to see the grandkids.  ..GREAT Person....using kids as pawns.
All I can do is leave it in Gods hands.   And move on.  And know, I have the key to their real past,  when they can get out from under her thumb.
Never in a million years would I had though such a good person could turn into such a spiteful hateful person.   To use children as pawns is horrible.  Thought that was used in divorce cases.
I am just blowing off steam right now.  But soon I will be moving to my new blog  so I will be excited to be able to tell it like it is again.  
For today I am praying God has mercy on her when judgment comes.  As for me I will be starting a new chapter in my life soon.  It is called....  Humm better leave that for later.



 

Every Now and Then

Every now and then I stop and smell the flower.  Every now and then I look at the clouds that are floating by.
Sometimes I sit for hours thinking about the family I used to have.  And how it could have ever gone so wrong. I think about selfish acts and people who want to control me.  And change me so I fit into their lives.  Not realizing I am happy with me and all that I am.     I think about the people who have made me who i am,  and wonder where I would be if i had been brought up in the world we know today.
I am not lonely.  I am not sad.  I am moving on and hope you can do the same.  I wish the best for you in your journeys. Life is to short.
It does not mean I do not miss nor love you.  It simply means I chose to remain who I am and who God wants me to be.  I will be fine as you will.  Just breathe in and out, knowing you made this decision not me.